Need a Lil' Bit More
Peace
Boy, if I don't start calming down... I'm going to have this lil' girl early! I think I'm letting myself get way too stressed about every little thing. I'm tired of being the grumpy mom who yells a little too much sometimes. I think I need to learn some inner peace poses. Do a little Yoga when I feel like I can't take it anymore. Announce that, 'Mommy Needs a Time Out!', and go in a room where it can just be me...take a few breaths... and then when I'm ready, head back into the circus that is my life right now haha.
It's really not anyone's fault. The boys are acting up because they know Dad is home, in the room... but he can't have them jumping on him, so they're not allowed in. So, they act up. And I'm trying to get things done around the house and take care of them and D. I don't have a ton on time to play. And when I do, I can't do it for long cause I start hurting. I get frustrated when the boys get frustrated. And then I might snap a little bit at D, and then that puts him in a bad mood. Then when he's out of the room, he snaps at the kids. And I get upset that he did. And I snap at the kids and him. Then the kids act up again.
It's a messed up Circle of Life kinda thing.
I'm not saying that every day is bad. Just that when a bad day comes around... it don't play around.... it's a bad one. I just have to remember that things won't always be this stressful and that the temper tantrums, the whining, the grumpiness, and the tiredness will pass. (I hope) And the boys do have their good days where they are both really sweet to me. And D.
I've just got to get a handle on my emotions a little better, so that when things get even more stressful (when I have the baby) I can better deal with things. It seems like when ever I am upset, stressed, or when I let me being tired make me grumpy, everyone else starts acting the same way. So maybe it's me. It probably is. So from now on, I'll try and be a little bit more happy. A little less tired. And a lot more loving and understanding. I'm not the only one going through something here. J, Z, and Dad are too.
Wish me luck
(AAAAwwwwwwwwwwwwwMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm) - yoga chant
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